Saturday, June 06, 2009

Surfing Those Waves Dude

I started surfing last summer. After about a dozen sessions I still can’t stand up on the fucking board. So every wave I catch I can practically guarantee that I’m getting dunked.

Like this morning. I was in a full wetsuit with gloves (two pairs, actually), booties and a hood. The first wave I took I popped up for about one and a half seconds and fell off. The wave proceeded to yank the board and rip the leash from my ankle. When I got to the surface the board was already close to the shore, far from where I was. On top of that, I was out of breath from paddling into the wave and from being underwater. As I came up, another wave was right behind the first one.

It’s important here to point out that swimming with two pairs of gloves on is like swimming with your hands stuck up dead rabbits’ asses.

I ducked under, losing even more breath and popped up into an oncoming wave. I ducked under that one, losing even more breath and popped up into an oncoming wave. I ducked under that one, losing even more breath and popped up, this time, to my friend paddling out to save my sorry ass. I grabbed his board and he floated me into shore.

I asked if I looked panicked and he replied, "I wouldn’t say panicked, but definitely concerned." So it’s not enough that I still can’t surf after almost a year but now my friends have to keep an eye on my soggy ass.